I’m walking through my house. It’s as if i’m seeing it all in a new light: of no light. I can hear sounds I havent heard before when i’ve tread this same path, new sounds, the sounds of no clicking, no ticking, no beeping, no whirring, no wizzing. I can hear my feet as they walk on the wooden floor boards, I can hear the woosh of the fabric of my clothes.
Unable to see in the darkness, i’m forced to walk slower, at a pace unlike before. I have to feel the walls of my apartment. i’ve never felt them before…aaahh..that’s what they feel like.
I finally am able to make my way, like a blind man, to the balcony door. I slide it open. the sound is almost defeaning, cacophonous in its new soundless enviroment. I step out, and immediately my sweat drenched body is met with a welcome breeze, that’s wandering through the skies, 16 stories above ground; a welcome companion on this night.
I take my seat on the chair and face the south east. I can hardly make anything out. it’s pitch black, except for a glow from around the edge of the twin building to our apartments across the way. i look out onto my city, and I see nothing, except for shades and shadows and angles and sides lit by the mysterious light behind the building. I sit and wait.
While I wait, I look up to the sky and see a sight i’ve never before seen from the city. I see stars. Shy stars, timidly peeking out from their usual hiding place, and finding for the first time no light impeding nor competing with them. Slowly gaining confidence they make their presence known and feel justified in making appearance in a sky that had all but forgotten them.
While I wait, I look up to the sky and see a sight i’ve never before seen from the city. I see stars.
There’s a bright ray of light and finally the source of the mysterious light shows herself. the silver lady of the night slowly peeks out from behind the concrete. I sit back and watch her as she slowly marches out into the open with the grace of a queen. as if welcoming the newly found burden havign to shed her light on the previously ungrateful city, she shares her milky light with city. The stars bow and genuflect in respect mixed with awe.
She marches gracefully out into the open, a wisp of a cloud slowly enshrounds her, like a silk kerchief ornamenting her milky white neck, lending her gaze a mystery exuding the melancholy romance of graceful solitude.
I look out onto the sleeping city. There it lays like a Giant in morbid slumber. The moonlight caressing it without waking it; the city looks peaceful in its sleep, as if it’s been seeking this for so long, it lays there in peace, shedding itself of the fatigue of the burden of being awake for as long as it remembers. In the distance I can see the light of the moon reflecting off of the Lake. I can imagine the lake as it is soothingly and calmly lapping at the edges of the city in the sleep, gently stroking its hair, and singing its eternal lullaby.
The slumbering giant. It lays there wrapped in a fragile, delicate, crystaline and almost morbid beauty. for a moment my thoughts drift off, like my breezy companion. I wonder what the city is dreaming of in its slumbers….
I look up for a moment and i see a shooting star as it streaks across the face of the moon in its momentarily life. It has, like the moon and stars, a dignified and melancholic beauty in its solitude. And for a brief moment I feel it. I feel alone. A certain form of aloneness, which I always feel when I am far away from the buzz of daily life and confronted with the hulking yet fragile solitude of nature. I reach over involuntarily, searching for a hand to hold to share in the awe of this night, but i do not find the hand that i’m looking for. But the breeze takes my hand, and i thank her. As we share, like some one said,
a drink called loneliness, but its better than drinking alone….
